In Search of Skinny Jeans

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Initial Thoughts January 26, 2010

Filed under: clothes,done,enough,fat — Lauren Warner @ 5:43 am

I’ve always struggled with my weight. In 6th grade I was 5’6″ and weighed 180lbs. I started playing sports soon after that and in high school I averaged around 5’8″, 140lbs and a size 12-14 jean. My college years I was down to about 135lbs and working in the outdoor adventure industry so I was in a size 10 jean. I’m now the mother of two beautiful girls and the wife (of 4 years) to an amazing man. I’m also carrying around a lot of extra weight. I can’t stand it. My black mini-skirt and skinny jeans are both in my closet, just waiting for me.

I’m an emotional eater. I eat when I’m bored. I eat as a reward. I eat just because. I can’t seem to get it thought my head that food will be there. I’m unlikely to starve to death. I can get ice cream again. I don’t have to eat it all now.

I’m a procrastinator. I’m a pro at making excuses for doing it later. Two children under the age of 2 make it that much easier for me to find excuses. Despite the shiny new jogging stroller in the back of my van and the new Nike’s sitting in my closet with the Nike+ Pod in them ready to log my miles.

I’m done with excuses. I’m done with emotional eating. I’m done with being fat. I went to Target tonight to pick up some warmer exercise clothes and it was a sad eye opener when I had to buy XXL for the first time in my life. Granted, I’d rather buy bigger clothes that fit than try to squeeze my excess into clothes that are too small but I cannot believe that I have reached this point.

I’m done!

I will log everything I put in my mouth, good or bad, and try to recall the reasons for eating and the thoughts behind.

I’m tired of hiding from the camera. I want to look as beautiful as my husband makes me feel. I want to be beautiful for my girls. I want to be an example of a strong woman for them.

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One Response to “Initial Thoughts”

  1. Baley Dyan Says:

    You go girl! If you need extra help, check out sparkpeople.com. They've really helped me and it's an easy way to track your food.


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